You’ve heard the saying, “don’t judge a book by its cover,” but we’re all guilty of that at some point. We make assumptions about others by what we see on the outside. What we don’t consider are the things we don’t see like the hardships, the challenges, the things we don’t speak about, and the sacrifices made.
It’s understandable. We’re only privy to the external. But the untold story lies in the details of a person’s journey. Behind many success stories are the sacrifices made on the way to the top.
My story is no exception. As previously mentioned in my last blog post, I went from an apartment gig to consulting millions and billions in portfolios. What people don’t know is how I got there.
When people look at me, they see a successful single mother, living in a beautiful home in a great part of LA.
They probably wouldn’t have guessed that I decided to invest in and grow my business by renting out a room in my house to create a passive income. I also made the sacrifice of converting my daughter’s room into my office and sharing my bedroom with her for one year. I wanted to see how far I could take my business and cut costs where I could. Every business owner knows how costly a business can be and how great the odds of failure are. But I was determined to move forward despite them.
My sacrifices also included buying nice clothes on a budget and a nice sensible car. I actually used my car as my makeshift office space while my daughter did extracurricular activities. To meet with clients, I looked for quiet coffee shops and even held meetings at a cafe in a local church. I rented out my garage and saved money by not going to clubs, bars or happy hours. I’d rather invest that money back into my family and business.
I didn’t decide to make this shift in my life on a whim. I used the power of visualization and manifestation to lay out and set goals. I took steps to prepare for these changes in my and my daughter’s lives ahead of time and it paid off. My roommate stayed for three years and became part of my family. She was a blessing and an inspiration as she was a hardworking, ambitious and successful dentist who shared valuable knowledge and wisdom with me. She became a mentor, which is incredibly important for those looking to build something.
After about a year, I was able to move into an office and find new mentors.
These are just some of the sacrifices I made to create the life I wanted for me and my daughter. I’ve learned so much along the way, particularly from the difficult mutual decision to leave my daughter’s dad. It was tough, but it was necessary for our future.
And while it brought up some past trauma, it also taught me valuable lessons in resilience, strength, courage, loyalty, honor and integrity. I also learned that relationships can truly be a space for healing to take place after having wasted so much time hurting each other. But thank god, we healed!
Being a single mother can be scary and challenging, but my daughter and son are, by far, my greatest motivators. They push me to be my best and bring out the best in me. My co-parent and mother make for an amazing support team, and I credit them with making this journey work.
What people don’t see is all the hard work you have to put in, the dedication and commitment it takes to become a better version of yourself and heal past traumas. The hardest part is owning your truth and not being a victim of your past. Even more challenging is letting go of your pride and ego. But doing so and replacing them with boundaries and love have helped me and my relationships in more ways than I can count.
No longer reacting with the ego, my ex and I have built a healthy co-parenting relationship, which is what we wanted for our kids. We’ve allowed each other to exist in each other's everyday lives, such as at kids' birthday parties or at the grocery store as a way to remove some of the burdens. We accommodate our schedules when we travel or have things to do and have found a way to be best friends.
There are moments where my side-eye comes out on him and vice versa but all the pros superseded the defects in each other. The point is, we’ve made personal sacrifices to make our co-parenting relationship work, and have given each other grace and forgiveness, which has brought me peace, room to dream and drive to grow my business.
One of the biggest sacrifices I’ve made is putting my love life on hold to focus on my family and career. I made a commitment to make my career my “boyfriend” for the first five years of growing my business. I’ve received criticism for this but it's the right choice.
I’m protective of my heart, my child, my drive and my future, however, that doesn’t mean I’m closed off to love. I’m very much open to it and when the right aligned man comes along, I’ll be sure to share that news with family and friends.
In the meantime, I am secure in my decisions. I value my time alone and cherish the time with my daughter, family and close friends. As mentioned earlier, people make their own assumptions about one's life. Do what works best for you but do it with love!
I do live a great life but it’s not perfect and that’s ok. What I want people to know is that sacrifices must be made to achieve a certain level of success. I’m grateful for the sacrifices I’ve made because they’ve brought me healing and the freedom to live an elevated life.
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